so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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