i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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