U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
