I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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