my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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