I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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