Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This house was built for laser tag.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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