Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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