well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
