i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
