now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
