Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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