talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
