My room smells like vodka and shame
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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