is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
