I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
