yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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