What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
