I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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