do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
