Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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