How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
