Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
