i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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