we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
