I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
