I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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