Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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