Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
