She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
