About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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