You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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