just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
