I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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