he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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