Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
