As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
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