But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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