time to smoke my breakfast
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
