I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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