You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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