Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
