i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
