Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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