In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
