sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
