I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
