Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
