My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
