Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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